I'm In Recovery

The laptop that I have had for over 5 years was the floor model and I got it at a discount, which meant that it never quite worked exactly as it should. It has had power problems throughout its life and was on the third power cord and second battery when it finally quit working a while ago.

The new cord is working, and I also have a new battery in it that is functional, just not charged. It had 3% when I brought it home from the store, so I had my computer for the 10 minutes or so that it had left. The problem is somewhere in converting the energy pulled in from the outlet to useable power for the computer.

I am going to use a similie here and I really don't want to offend anyone, so please, please observe the important word LIKE that is being used here. Not having my computer is in a way like having a stroke or some sort of amnesia. All of the things that I have written are there-- I can hold my computer in my hands and know that the stories are contained in the circuits and memory, but I just can't get to them. Eventually I hope to figure out what the true problem with the power wasor at least have the new battery charged so that I can quickly go in and get the most vital pieces that I have written and put them on disk. I was stupid enough to only save a few and I did that far less frequently than I should have.

Now the things that I have poured out my heart into (not just creative writing but letters and old online conversations that I have kept, and pictures.) are trapped there, inaccessible but not forgotten.

I think that this is why I have begun to put some things that I have written here on my blog, even if they are in their very rough forms-- blogger works almost like a separate server. I've also finally put the last of the writings that I do have saved on the wonderful blessing of my graduation laptop, which was a beast of a task since we don't have 3 1/2 disk drives on either our home comp. or my laptop and that is what everything is stored on. Wow, I sound so complainative and meanwhile I'm discussing 2 laptops that I have had or currently have as well as the nice computer here at my house. I know that I am blessed beyond much of the world to even have one computer in my life, and I do appreciate that. I think I am chagrined with myself for the fact that I wasn't more cautious and frustrated at the loss of so many phrases surgically removed lie a piece of my flesh.